Johannasberg - A Meat Feast!

Only 2 hours to go before we leave for the airport and fly home. We have spent the day by the pool, but having a short break as a damn cloud has blocked out the sun for a few minutes. Dan had a face like a back of a bus this morning as today was GCSE result day and he was a tad anxious about how he had done. He soon broke into a smile when he learned from his mum that he had passes in 10 of them, so well done to Dan, and we might have a sneaky cider later to celebrate.

We reached our hotel without incident, though we did get a little lost. We decided not to do the Pretoria route (which I am gutted about) and instead decided a shorter route below Jo Berg instead, however, missed a turning somewhere and nearly ended up in Kimberley before turning round and eventually finding the road we wanted. Sign posts around JoBerg are rubbish, and it took 3 hours to eventually find the hotel which is in sleepy old Mulderdrift.

I was gutted that we skipped Pretoria as yesterday the army rioted against the police, and not having had any adventure or danger over the past few days, I was sad to miss an opportunity to put my photojournalistic skills to the test again as I reckon I could have got some good pic's.

Last night we dined at the Carnivore and happy to report that giraffe wasn't on the menu so that arguement was settled. We politely declined all vegetable and salads and just insisted that they bring out the meat. Carnivore here works the same way as it does in Nairobi. There is only one instruction. Eat as much as you can and where you are done, lower the flag on your table. The flag stayed up far too long on our table, and it was a continuous stream as waiter after waiter satisfied our game meat cravings.

Aside the usual chicken (breasts, wings and liver), pork (sausages and joint), lamb (leg of) and beef (sausages, steak and joint of) which we all had generous servings of, we also chomped our way through eland, gemsbok, springbok, kudu and crocodile. The huge joints of meat are bought to your table on a sword which has been slowly roasting over an open fire and the waiter carves slices of meat which fall onto your plate in a mouth watering mound. I must have a piece of crackling from the pork 30cm long and just as wide.

We ate till we literally couldn't lift the fork to our mouths. Actually, we discarded the forks after the 3rd or 4th plateful and just used our fingers, much easier, and walking back to our rooms afterwards was actually quite painful. We lay in bed with a mountain of meat slowly working it's way through our digestive system and the room was silent apart from groans of satisfactory discomfort.

Every time I eat at the Carnivore I always think of one particular lion I saw on a game drive once. I think it was a couple of years ago. Mum and Antoinette will remember. We were on our way back to the camp near the Mara River when we spotted an old moth eaten looking male lion lying on the side of the road in the grass. He was still bloody around the mouth and his stomach was so extended from eating whatever it was that he had just caught and killed, that he could barely move. We stopped to take a couple of photo's and were amused by his heavy panting as he struggled to lift his head to see who we were. So full was he, that if we had got out and stroked it, I don't think it had the energy to move. That's how we felt last night. Wonderful.

The boys devised some kind of point scoring system over dinner, it was too complicated to keep track, and we all agreed that if we opened a resteraunt back in Jersey it would be like the Carnivore. Dan introduced the rule that vegetarians would be barred, Kieran introduced the execption to the rule that vegetarians would only be allowed if they were on the menu! I am not quite sure what I am creating here, but apologies to any vegetarians I may offend with this posting.

The hotel, Misty Hills Country Hotel is quite possibly the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in. All stones and thatch with wooden beams and big open fires in all of the rooms. It is a little bit of a maze, but the grounds are stunning, and the room decor amazing. Our shower is like a granite farmhouse, and we have a bath too which both boys enjoyed last night. I though I had better wash my feet as the receptionist was making it very obvious that he didn't approve of my blackened toenails and after scrubbing them for about 15 minutes, they are only slightly grubby looking now. The sould of my feet are however stained black. That's what you get I guess from spending nearly 6 weeks barefoot in Africa. Both K and Dan have similar issues with their feet, and Dans hair is well and truly dreaded now, and Kieran's is so long even I think he needs a haircut!

A huge clap of thunder outside just now means that that cloud is here to stay and I think that has put pay to my afternoon by the pool. Knowing the boys, they are probably conjuring up ideas at what dangers a storm can bring, and I had best go find them before they climb onto the roof and try invent a new sport like lightenening surfing or something.