Swaziland Part 2. Mountain Bikes and Caves,

So this brings us up to date. Right now we are in Graskop, more about that later.

Our last day in Swaziland saw the biggest challenge I have ever faced yet. Caving.

After a very relaxing morning we hired mountain bikes and did a short safari around the park. Animals we saw were mostly antelopes, zebra and wildebeeste. And more wart hogs and an abundance of birdlife. We did see a few hippos in the distance and a couple of crocs close to the shore. We are so used to being up close to the animals now that we didn't give it a second thought to stand on the shore whilst a croc swam past just a few metres from us. It showed absolutely no interest in us at all. Perhaps the crocs in Swaziland really are vegetarian.

After lunch we visited a cultural village where we were entertained by local and traditional dancing and singing, then we set of for our caving expedition. We joined a small group, a couple from Oz, a couple from Belgium and another English guy. First we hiked for an hour through the bush (and up a mountain) then, clad in overalls and sporting hemets and torches, our caving adventure began. I thought it might be more extreme to do this at night, then thinking about it sensibly realized it doesn't matter what time of day you do it as you are underground and it is dark anyway. I always wondered what the attraction was to caving and thought it was a lot of fuss about nothing. Just crawling through a few tunnels and going down a few holes. Boy, did I learn!

Having survived this, I can say that it is the hardest thing I have ever done, and certainly the most extreme. Forget abseiling, bunjy, rafting etc, this was the biggest challenge of my life yet,

Caving, not recommended if you don't like spiders, bats, small spaces and the dark is done through several km of tight narrow passages and holes which how I squeezed my frame through I have no idea. Kieran and Dan found it relatively easy, aside the climbs and drops, but for me, it was bloody exhausting and at times I was literally lying flat on my stomach with rocks pressing up into my rib cage, rocks pressing down against my spine and as I inched myself painfully to get through the hole that I convinced myself I could get through to a hole just about big enough for me to crouch in, I was trying to work out whose stupid idea was this.

At one point I just managed to get my shoulders through by twisting awkwardly, then wriggled my chest at another impossible angle through only to find my butt was wedged fast. My legs dangling in thin air so I could not use them to lever myself forward and as I tried tried to motivate myself by saying out loud, "come on Chris, bigger guys than you have got through here" my worse fears came true when the guide said, actually, your the biggest yet, and I didn't think you would make it.

As I lay there stuck fast, chuckling to myself thinking, of all the things I have done, I am going to die in a frigging cave, my gorgeous, beautiful son came to my rescue by pushing hard against my feet so I could slide just another inch across the ground, laden with bat crap and bugs, where eventually I freed an arm to grip onto a rock to pull myself through, and as I came out the other side the relief was immense and the agony finally seemed worth it.

Both boys thouroughly enjoyed the caving and by the time we hiked back down the mountain, we were all literally dead on our feet. The sensible thing would have been to hit the sack, but we decided to soak our aching limbs and muscles in the local spa (called Cuddle Puddle) where we mixed it up with the locals.

We were sorry to be leaving Swaziland and gutted that we are missing the Festival of Umhlanga by just a few days. The Umhlanga is an annual festival in which 1000's of bare breasted maidens travel from all over Swaziland to take part in a week of dance and song for the king. One 'lucky' girl gets to be picked bythe king to be his new bride. The current king has 9 wives. His predecessor had 120 with allegedly more than double that number in girlfriends and mistresses. The current king appears to be a little less active, which, in country where a third of the adult population is HIV+, may be wise.

I was thinking of introducing the Umhlanga back in Jersey on my return, but I fear advertising for naked young ladies to come round and dance for me in the hopes of a marraige proposal may not be met with the same enthusiasm. Plus, there's the little matter of the "marriage" at the end of it and that would just put a dampner on the whole occasion!